Friends vs “Friends”

“Today WILL be a great day!” That’s what I said to myself this morning while sliding my soapy washcloth between my buttcheeks. Stating, out loud, EXACTLY how I want my day to go is something I’m trying to get in the habit of doing. I do it mostly when I have a lonnngggg day ahead of me and I’ll be stretched thin. Today, I have a long day ahead of me. One-on-one with my boss at my shitty job, co-hosting a radio show with my boy/photographer, Dermaine, open mic after that, not to mention I need to exercise AND ensure stress and running like a mad woman doesn’t send my appetite into a whirlwind and cause me to overeat. “Today WILL be a great day!”

And that it has been! I got to talk with my girl Monique (Dermaine’s wife – keep it in the family) on the way in and she always makes me feel like superwoman. She’s so awesome at pointing out all of my successes, skills, talents, and accomplishments and making me feel like the rock star I am! If you don’t have a Monique in your life, get yourself one (I can rent her out for a nominal hourly fee – #hustling).

What Monique also makes me realise by her being so awesome is how many anti-Moniques I have in my life. And by “anti-Monique,” I don’t mean people who don’t like her, but people who make me feel exactly the opposite of how she makes me feel. There are so many “friends” in my life who NEVER support me at shows, but ALWAYS ask “when you performing?” as if they’ll show up. So many “friends” who always question my dreams and “encourage” me to live safely. So many friends who say “at least you have your engineering degree if this ‘comedy thing’ doesn’t work.” So many friends who take, take, take – take my peace, take my compliments, take my time, take my kindness – yet never give. Now, the not giving isn’t an issue, we’re all at different places in our lives and right now might not be a “giving season” for you. However, as I share my dreams, goals, and plans with some of these friends, I’m met with apprehension and questioning. I know they don’t mean any harm, but I also know they’re projecting their own fear of following their own dreams on to me. I don’t need those people in my life.

At this stage in my life, and as I continue to embark on a very difficult portion of my life journey, I need to follow the practices of Mr. Miagi from “The Karate Kid.” People in your life are like the branches of a bonsai – for the strength of the entire tree, some branches need to be pruned. I’m pulling out my shears.



6 thoughts on “Friends vs “Friends”

  1. cleaning out the friend closet is always emotional and hard but as long as you continue to stand up for yourself and your decisions like you have been, you will do nothing but succeed – without them creating self doubt, insecurities, or plain old negative thoughts. Putting on the big kid pants every morning and standing up for myself is never easy – but ALWAYS worth it! And having Moniques in your life are great for days when the big risks are scary. I know you will accomplish every goal in your life no matter who is standing next to you or behind you or hanging upside down in front of you 🙂

  2. [[*applauding, whistling, clapping (with hands and butt cheeks)*]] – WONDERFUL BLOG AYANNA!

    And for anyone who’s confused on the point, THIS is what genuine friendship is…affirming the beauty, the light, and the divine potential we see in each other (…well, it’s that AND the hope of getting your hand-me-down designer duds when you amass your wealth in the entertainment world! lol)…:)

  3. Pingback: Dream Dealers | ILoveDookie

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