I got into a discussion, rather a disagreement…okay, an argument, with a male coworker who referred to one of our female coworkers as “curvy” and “thick.” The bitch was fat. Point blank. Period. End of story. The fat lady sang…better yet, she sang.
His definition of fat was “can’t walk.” What?! “Can’t walk?!” You CAN’T be serious!! Do you know HOW fat you have to be in order to be immobile?! That’s not accidental fat, either! That’s “I have a goal to collect disability so Imma eat these here pizza PIES, big macS, and drink these triple thick milkshakeS…e’reday (that’s ebonics for ‘everyday’)!” IMMOBILE?! REALLY?! Is this what we’ve come to?!
I wanted to make sure I completely understood his line of demarcation between “curvy/thick” and “fat,” so I asked him some “feeler” questions.
Me: What about Precious?
Him: What about Precious?
Me: Precious? Is she fat?
Him: I mean…I wouldn’t hit that, but she’s just thick.
WAHHHHAAATTT?! THICK?! That’s how you feel, man?! Sidebar: I don’t know why men always judge a woman by their desire to have sex with them…it’s just strange.
Over the years, there has been a “Non-Skinny Movement.” I think it may have started with Comedian/Actress/Oscar Award Winner Monique, who literally called skinny women, “The Devil.” However, this post is not about the Fat Movement. Nor is it about poking fun or belittling fat people. In addition, I don’t think the word “fat” is negative. It is an adjective, just like “skinny,” “pretty,” “purple,” and “blue.”
This post is about the clear cut difference between “Curvy” (or “Thick” for my fellow colored readers) and “Fat.” They are not one in the same, and I’m tired of folks using them interchangeably. So, I’ve created a few guidelines to assist the challenged with differentiating between “curvy/thick” and “fat.”
#1: If you have rolls, that show through your clothes, that can be grabbed with an entire hand, you are not “thick,” you are “fat.”
#2: If your titty to tummy ratio is less than or equal to one (titty:tummy<= 1), you are not "thick," you are "fat."
#3: If your butt and your stomach are both equidistant from your torso, AND, you've been told you got a big ass, you are not "thick," you are "fat."
#4: If performing simple tasks such as walking up a flight of stairs, bending at the waist to tie your shoelaces, or getting in and out of a sedan are challenging, you are not "thick," you are "fat."
#5: If you are unsure whether you are "thick" or "fat," you are not "thick," you are "fat."
“Curvy” and “Thick” have to do with your bone structure. Some folks just have more pronounced hips and are wider and pack on more muscle. “Fat” is something you become from your eating and exercise habits.
Above is a picture of Princess Beatrice of York. I would consider her “curvy” (and in desperate need of a more supportive bathing suit top). She’s not skinny, she sure as hell ain’t fat, but, you can tell, she’s just a big girl.
What do you think? Is my list ridiculous? Am I completely off the mark? What’s your feeling on Princess Beatrice of York? Curvy or fat?