I saw a statistic stating only 2% of women, WORLDWIDE, consider themselves beautiful. 2%! Immediately, the engineer/mathematician in me challenged the accuracy. Maybe the sample population wasn’t big enough. Maybe they didn’t collect enough samples from enough demographics. But, it eventually sunk in – 2% might actually be accurate. Not because there are a bunch of Flava Flav look alikes, with vaginas, but because women are taught to be humble.
When it comes to our looks, “let others compliment you” and “practice humility” are the rules. We’re not supposed to admit we think highly of ourselves. That’s being conceited, and conceit, is not a favourable trait.
But what’s the difference between being conceited and being confident?
I am what most consider conceited. I’ve lost a ton of weight, I exercise daily, and I try my best to practice a healthy lifestyle. I monitor my intake of food and cook to ensure I’m not eating fast food regularly. I research and use quality skin care products. I’ve painstakingly figured out what haircuts look best on me (that “porcupine” look was down right embarrassing. Took 6 weeks to grow out!) and what clothes flatter me. I have invested $5,000 in Invisalign and an additional $5,000 in LASIK eye surgery (20/15 vision, baby! I see through walls!). My physical appearance is a priority. How I look is by no means accidental. It took YEARS of hardwork. And now, I am reaping the benefits! I am not conceited, I am convinced. I am convinced if you don’t like something about yourself, you can work hard and change it.
I am not conceited. I am a hard worker.
This is me yesterday in Georgetown at Fashion’s Night Out.
I look good (…and angry. That’s my “model” look)!! AND…I ain’t afraid to admit it. Wish I had a full body so you guys could see the outfit I so meticulously put together (I’ll post at another date when I get the professional shots from last night).
However, as I was walking through Georgetown, I received mixed responses from passerbys. A couple of folks stopped me with compliments. Some even asked to take pictures! I was beyond flattered. I felt the way I INTENDED to feel: BEAUTIFUL!! That was the goal: to look absolutely beautiful at Fashion’s Night Out!
And I had haters. (For the record, I hate the word “hater.” The word is used inappropriately. Just because someone doesn’t like something, it doesn’t make them a hater, it makes them a person…with an opinion.) I got several glares, rolling eyes, grits (for my Ebonically challenged, to “grit” on someone means to look them up and down in a nasty way), and the infamous pooched lips.
This has happened before. It will probably happen again. I’ve seen it happen to others. Hell, I’ve seen a beautiful woman before and been a bit put off. But why?!
My Theory aka Dookie’s Discovery
When a woman sees confidence in another woman, she can’t understand why. Why is this woman allowed to be so publicly beautiful? What gave her the right to ignore humility and be awesome?! Why can’t I do that?
She becomes angry and upset at herself for not being strong enough to be who she really wants to be.
Does my theory hold any bit of truth in your experiences? Am I off the rocker/mark/bullseye?
I’m not sure why some folks are put off by beauty, however, I encourage everyone to be unapologetically beautiful.