What I’ve been dreading for 3 months, was conquered on Saturday. A few months back, my girl Alicia “invited” me to do Tough Mudder. For those who have no idea what it is, picture hell, except, you pay an entry fee (that ain’t cheap). Okay, I’m exaggerating…slightly. Maybe pergatory (or limbo, for those who’ve read Donte’s Inferno).
Tough Mudder is a mud run consisting of approximately 20 obstacles over a 10-13 mile course. What kinds of obstacles? Ones that can potentially lead to broken bones, skinned knees, and wounded pride. Lemme break it down:
Artic Enema: Dumpster filled with COLD ASS WATER (34 degrees to be exact). I know, it doesn’t sound that intimidating, and honestly, that’s how I approached it. Then I jumped in, and literally lost my breath, mind, grasp on reality…and a little bit of pee (just a little). This was the first obstacle of the course, and it set the tone for the remainder of the day – shitty.
Dirty Ballerina: The second obstacle, right after Artic Enema. It didn’t LOOK so bad. In fact, I successfully hopped the first trench. The second one…SMACK! My left thigh now has the ugliest black and blue bruise known to man, and it hurts to bend my leg. I’m praying it’s just a bruise and will heal. Yes…it hurt THAT bad!
Electric Eel: Another obstacle I was not worried about while training. My core is pretty strong and how much can they actually shock me?! Well, I was WRONG. As I military crawled underneath charged wires, some fat dude, standing guard, sprayed water. Water hit me, I hit the charged wire, my entire left arm locked up, preventing me from moving, causing me to drop…and get electrocuted again. Rinse. Repeat. NOT FUN.
Walk the Plank: This, by far, is the obstacle I didn’t worry about at all. And, for that reason, this, by far, was the most terrifying obstacle of the day. I completely forgot I was afraid of heights…until I climbed up this 20+ foot wall (Yay, Me! for making it up the wall by meself!). For the past 3 days, I’ve thought about what I accomplished taking this jump. Honestly, at the end of the race, this was the one obstacle that made me feel “I can accomplish ANYTHING IN LIFE!! Watch me do this!!”I had 2 options when I got to the top: jump or climb back down. I literally contemplated climbing back down.
There were tons of additional obstacles (scaling 9 and 12 foot walls, carrying logs up and down a hill, crawling through a muddy trench, and, not to mention, just completing 10 and a half MUDDY miles). However, these obstacles were my most memorable.
I did it. The question everyone keeps asking is “will you do it again?” Honestly…I think I just might.